Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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