I'm going to jail i love you
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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