It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
