So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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