I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
