I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
