Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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