Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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