he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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