He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
this just has baby written all over it
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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