Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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