He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
