About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I feel like abortions should bother me more
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
