We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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