So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
