Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
