Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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