My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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