I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
