I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
