His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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