I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
