dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
