As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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