you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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