Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
