Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
