Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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