hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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