Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize