Porn is love you can see.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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