I think I am morally bankrupt
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
PANTIES FOUND
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
