Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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