At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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