You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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