he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
