dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize