I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
