yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Dear god my vagina.
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