I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
