I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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