everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
