She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
