You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
