At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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