You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
