U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
