I don't think brook has ever known best
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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