Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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