She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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