but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
