I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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