Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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