There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
