He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
