I'm really into asian looking animals
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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