Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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