lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
