Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize