all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
