Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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