I think i peed on brittanys purse
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
